The
list below is a totally unbiased selection of Disco Dave posts chosen
by a panel of internet experts (i.e. ME). Although technically
given rankings, how could you ever really choose your favorites?
Without further aideu, here are your favorites.
1) Miracle on East Main Street
This is the second to last Christmas extravaganza submitted by Disco
Dave in December 2005. The following year was Rowdy Roddy's
Cancer Christmas, which would be here if it wasn't erased. This was an
extremely long post, which is basically a rewrite of Miracle on 34th
Street, except starring Rey Mysterio. There are a few laughs to
be had, but I think I chose this as number one simply because I
remember Disco bitching about the ungodly amount of time he took to
write it. Sometimes you get the impression that Disco wasn't the
sharpest knife in the drawer.
2) The Failed Roundtable Experiment
This post featured Disco Dave acting as moderator for several Lethal
staffers discussing the wrestling topics of the day (March 2006).
It was compiled from a live IRC chat where the topics were tossed out
amongst the usual insults and dick jokes that pretty much any Lethal
IRC chat were filled with. The plan was to make a series of these
posts, but the difficulties of arranging to have several disorganized
out of shape Net Geeks in one virtual place at a set time killed the
idea after one more failed attempt. Slick editing turned a
disjointed chat into a seamles discussion with well thought out
responses and very little off topic wandering. So basically
nothing what the live chat actually looked like.
3) Disco Dave at a Rowdy Roddy Piper Live Event
In February 2006, Disco and a friend of his attended a 'One Man Show'
starring Rowdy Roddy Piper. Despite mocking him for years, Disco
admits that Piper is his all time favorite wrestler. The recap of
the show is a fairly detailed account of the stories Piper told, as
well as the fan interaction portion, where Disco managed to get Piper
to talk about Jonny Fairplay. The post ends with a surprise that
would have ruined most people's nights, but instead just gave Disco and
his pal another cool story to tell.
4) The Bears (don't) Win the Superbowl!!!!!
Disco Dave was a die hard Chicago Bears fan. Why? Nobody
knows. However, in February 2007, his beloved Bears played in the
super bowl. What could have been an amazing night for him was
ruined by the uninspired play of possibly the worst quarterbaclk to
ever start in a Superbowl, Rex Grossman. Despite Grossman's awful
performance, Disco decided that Rex deserved a tribute post, where he
could receive his due praise for a season well done. What a true
gentleman.
5) Disco Dave Listens to Self Help Tapes
In June of 2007, Disco Dave promised that this was just the first in a
'series of posts' about a set of self help tapes he had found.
Dave would make this promise to write a 'series of posts' for various
subjects over the years, and never delivered once. Whether he
ever planned to, or if it was just another gimmick he thought up to
hook readers, we will never know. This post was a review of a
tape that espoused the virtues of "The Power of Positive Self
Expentancy". However the post flipped back and forth between the
self help tape and Disco ranting about how much Facebook depressed
him. A little aside here, someone managed to hijack Disco's
facebook account and use it for about a year before members of his
family successfully lobbied Facebook to delete it. For the
record, that was NOT me, I swear.
6) Retarded Siskel and Ebert
In December of 2005, the staff at Lethal decided to write 'year end'
pieces for the website, Various posters teamed up in pairs to
give out their own "Best of 2005" awards. Disco chose to work
with part time staffer Pez, and they chose to use the gimmick of Siskel
and Ebert. Disco was the fat one, and Pez, who was rumored to be
dying of kidney failure at the time, was the dead one. The post
is filled with Disco and Pez doing what they do best, shitting on
everything.
7) It's A Wonderful E
December 2003 was Disco Dave's first Christmas on staff at Lethal
Wrestling. Creating the only repeating series he ever actually
followed through with (besides the recaps), the first annual Christmas
post was a retelling of the holiday classic It's a Wonderful
Life. Vince McMahon is cast in the Jimmy Stewart role as the man
who finds out just what life would be like if he were never born.
All ends well, which is rare for a Disco Dave post. Maybe he
wasn't such a cynical bastard way back then.
I doubt it too.
8) Christmas in Iraq
In 2004, the WWE sent Mick Foley and most of their Superstars to Iraq
to perform for the troops. Most normal people saw this as a nice
gesture by Vince McMahon to give back to the only people he seemed to
care about almost as much as his money, the United States
Military. However Dave saw it as another thing to mock and make
predictable jokes about. This 'recap' is actually fictional from
start to finish. I hate to admit it, but Disco's version probably
would have been more interesting to watch than what actually aired.
9) Smackdown Recap for Nov 13, 2005 (Death of Eddie Guerrero)
You wouldn't think that a standard recap would make it into the top ten
posts of all time, and I would agree with you. However this post
was definitely one of Disco's favorites, as he loved being able to mock
the frequent early deaths of wrestlers or celebrities. Ironic? I
distinctly remember him boasting that while most of the web were still
crying out tributes (including several on Lethal), he had the first
post anywhere on the web mocking it a mere nione hours after the news
broke. Regardless, as of the posting of this page, the images and
banners are all broken links. Sometime in the future, these posts
may be rehosted here so that the broken images in most of them can be
restored. For now, the best part of this post is missing, but I
am pretty sure a large angry ghost would haunt me if this wasn't on the
list.
10) Touched By an Angel
One of the reasons this post is on the list is because it has to
be. It is the first front page post by Disco Dave that ever
appeared at Lethal Wrestling. However on quick inspection, it
also lays out one thing that was always true for a lot of us.
Although we are ashamed to admit it, we are all wrestling fans.
The product may get worse and worse, but there is not much in the way
of alternative programming worth watching out there. So keep
watching, and keep mocking. It's what we do best.
Oh yeah, and it's about dead wrestlers touching the lives of living wrestlers or some shit.
So that's it. These ten posts are all there is left of the real
Disco Dave on the internet. Maybe one day, someone will find all
of the posts lost on the Lethal servers, but it won't be me. I'd put an
email link here so you could leave feedback, but I doubt you'd get a
response.
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